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Words of wisdom:
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| NEED BANDMEMBERS!!!!!!!! I'm fwustwated.... |
| 01.30.04 (12:11 am) [edit] |
GOD DAMN IT!!!!!! Whew...I needed to get that one out all day. Me,and Gabe have been talking for like the past hour about who the fuck we can get to play in Silenced Lamb to replace Tazz (bassist) Paul (hick drummer) TJ(guitarist) So we have me (vocals) and we have Gabe(lead guitars) Like seriously I loved this band. It was like my life,and shit. Like when I had nothing else I had my hardcore fucking band. It was my escape from emotional stress. I could scream my lungs out,and verbally abuse everything,and everyone that pissed me off.
Thats what music is to me. Expressing emotion,and letting it all out. And this band is the only one I was feeling like that. It's my first real band,and the songs describe my life. It makes me sick to not have that support anymore. Even though there would be new members it would still be Silenced Lamb. The only valued member that left was Tazz. He sadly moved to California. But hey with work we can turn something that is into something that was. Im anxious to see where my old band is gonna go.
Well I guess thats it. If anyone that may run across this post is interested we'll be holding auditions soon.
Corey :twisted:
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| human nature |
| 01.26.04 (11:11 pm) [edit] |
ok I've come to the conclusion that people will never be understood. We're not the smartest living creatures on the planet. I question if were even in the top ten. Just lately I've seen just how dumb we can really be. Why is it that some people would kill for they're family...yet verbally assualt them that very same day? Why is it that were always killing one another. We fight these wars when we dont even know why the fuck were even fighting. Were all little puppets,and the ones you call your government,idols,or even your God's are controlling the way you think,or feel. We all strive to live just like someone else,but what is it that we really want for our selves?
We stare at our TV screens,and play our video games all day,and we want the lives we see before us,but we'll never have it. Almost none of us can think for ourselves,because we've all learned to be codependant with one thing or another. What is religion? What is hapiness? Can you define that in your own way,or will you turn to someone,or something else for answers? When you feel inferior you run away with your tail between your legs. Can you honestly say diffrent? I know I cant. Lately I feel so controlled,and helpless. Will we ever be our own? If not I'll keep struggling until I find out what free will really is. Is free will an illusion,or can we actually reach the top of the mountain without someone else to guide us or tell us how to succeed?
Maybe we just try too hard,or maybe we're just too simple,but I doubt we'll ever be anything more than what we've become........simple minded robots.
~Corey
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| walking on air.... |
| 01.25.04 (12:01 am) [edit] |
Tonight was the best!!!!! :D Ashley,and me had a great time together,and God I love her so much I could burst. She said some things to me that noone has ever said to me before. I dont feel useless,or unwanted anymore. Shes made me complete,and I love her even more for that. Anyone whos afraid of love should give it a try,cuz without it I couldnt get through. It heals all pain,and I swear I feel like I could take on the world for this girl. It's so powerful. Ash....I know it's hard for you to see how beautiful inside and out you are,but to me you're the prettiest thing on this planet. I wouldnt give you up for anything,or anybody.
I've made some mistakes in this relationship,but never again. I swear.....never again. I'd sell my soul to save hers. Maybe someday I'll get to prove it all to her,but until then I'm just gonna keep on keepin on. *muah* Ashley...I love you more than the night sky.
~Corey
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| the L word...... |
| 01.22.04 (10:50 pm) [edit] |
I talked to my ex girlfriend today. That went..............ok I think. Shes so upset all the damn time these days. I really dislike talking to her,cuz I dont wanna remember our relationship,or how she hurt me,and drove me to alchohalism,and all those hard drugs. I mean thats all I had. I felt so alone,and so cold. I couldnt eat,sleep,or even think straight,because of her. I loved her with all my heart. She was my heart,and soul. I couldnt function without her in my corner. No matter what I did after her ended up in flames.
Atleast thats how I DID feel. Now I'll be ok,and my handgun dosent seem like the only way out. I've learned that from moving on,and now I'll always keep moving. I have a new girl who is now my new heart,and soul. I see things in a diffrent light now. I know I can get through all of lifes bullshit with Ashley,and my friends,and even by myself if needed. I will be ok,and life goes on. I'll still be there for Marina if she needs me,but I'll never forgive her for the shit she put me through. I dont hate her,but I dont like her very much either.
I'll no longer blame myself for her misery,but I blame her for mine :evil: Oh well it'll all work out in the end right?
Ok I'm out....bye everyone
Corey :twisted:
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| Wonderful Tuesday |
| 01.20.04 (7:54 pm) [edit] |
I've got to say this has got to be the most boring day I've had in forever. I wish the weekend were here already!!! Damn...actually I wish October would just hurry the fuck up and get here. I miss House of Shock. I feel so empty without it..lol. I guess I will just try to be patient,and wait....*taps foot* :( Did I mention i'm bored? Right now death seems like it would be a sweet release...jk. NOONE TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY!!!! I have nothing to say so I think I'm just gonna go now.
Corey :twisted:
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| To anyone less than myself..... |
| 01.15.04 (10:21 pm) [edit] |
I dont know why but lately I've been feeling something's diffrent,and not quite right. I feel it in my gut,and just in the air. I just know something really terrible is going to happen. Why must my moods change like this. Why must the tides change like this. Why cant they either go up,or stay down. Is there a God??? If so....help me!!! I hope this feeling of mine is false,or just in my head like everyone says. I hope they can prove me wrong.
Someone just stab me,and wake me up from this bad dream,or put me to sleep forever. I cant even seem to cry anymore,nor can I look someone in the face. What the fuck is wrong with me? I see a shrink,and all the drugs in the world wont make a fucking diffrence. I'm just like my father. I know his blood runs through my veins. Dad.........I hate you. I'll be at your funeral only to spit on your grave! I hope you cry blood knowing what the fuck you did to us. I wish you would just go back to prison,and get outta my life.
I'm sorry everyone. I dont mean to drop my problems in your laps,and Ashley I know this will make you worry. I love you,and I hope it'll all be ok soon,and I can go back to smiling. I guess I should take my own advice,and hold on. I guess I'm gonna go take some of those miracle pills (as if they actually work) and go to bed.
Corey
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| motivational speech... |
| 01.12.04 (10:46 pm) [edit] |
Ok I just got off the phone with one of my close friends. I cant say who,but when I called him he was gonna kill himself,and thank God I called when I did,cuz I cant lose another friend to suicide.
Listen..if anyone reading this right now ever feels like life isnt worth living,and you ever feel like your just repeating every day,just remember there are people who care for you always.
Months ago I was feeling that way,and on the House of Shock website I got a pm from a girl that was so sweet,and it made me smile. Days later I got another msg from this girl,and pretty soon we were talking like every day online. Then a step up....talking on the phone. Needless to say I didnt feel suicidal anymore. This girl saved my life,and that girl is Ashley..my little lost soul..lol. To this day were still talking alot,and were together,and happy. I mean we have our ups and downs,but it's never because our relationship is going wrong. It's because there is drama going on with other people,or what not.
The moral of the story is...if you just hold on I promise you it gets better. You'll never be alone in your feelings. And remember theres always someone who has it worse than us. Just know that no matter what someone will always rescue you...just dont let go.
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| seeing red |
| 01.12.04 (9:34 pm) [edit] |
God Damn it!!!! I'm so tired of people thinking they can take me on,cuz I'm smaller than them. I've been into martial arts,and fighting all my life. Can all of you punk wiggers say the same? I really hate having to fight to prove myself time and time again. I'll tell ya what. Everyone who thinks they can fuck some shit up stand in line,and I'll fight until there's noone left. I hate fighting to hurt someone. It's an art to me,and I dont want to disrespect it ya know?
Better topic...I saw Lord of the Rings tonight,and it kicked ass. I recomend you go see it if you didnt already. I miss Ashley already..lol. I hope I see her again soon.
well I think that's all for now. I love everyone reading this right now,and I meant no disrespect to yall about the whole violence issue.
Corey :twisted:
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| happiness!!!! |
| 01.11.04 (2:51 pm) [edit] |
Well I saw Ashley yesterday,and spent like the whole day,and almost the whole night with her. I dont know if she knows how happy I really was,and am,cuz I had a stomach ache like all day..grrr. My tummy kept on making this like loud growling noise..lol,but it was embarassing!!! But it's all good I guess. I saw her,and she was as beautiful as ever,and I love her. I'm so happy with her.
And she said her parents like me,and she can come to Metairie next time we get together. Ya'll dont know how happy that makes me. Something I've been worried about for a long time is finally over,and the outcome is what I wanted.
Well I'm out so I'll post sime other time....
Corey
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| waiting in anticipation for tomorrow.. |
| 01.09.04 (9:50 pm) [edit] |
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YAY...tomorrow is coming so fast. I get to see my baby tomorrow. I wish it would just hurry up and get here. I miss ya lots ash. Ima kiss you for like an hour straight when I see you...lol CANT WAIT ANY LONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| good moodness |
| 01.07.04 (9:26 pm) [edit] |
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Life is getting to be so awesome lately. When I started talking to Ashley more I've been all smiles. Nothing could drag me down right now. I hope it all gets better for her though. Shes in an up and down mood,and I just hope I can change that. I love you sweety. Please get better soon.
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| Blah!!! |
| 01.07.04 (6:06 pm) [edit] |
I just got off the phone with Paul.He was my drummer back in the days of Silenced Lamb (my old band) Jesus hes so friggin stupid. He wanted me to be his vocalist in this new band hes in. Thats a big cup of NOOO!!!! That friggin hick left us for dying and we had to break up.
Other than that life is great. I'm happy with my girl Ashley. I love her so much. I just wish I could see her as much as I'd like to ya know? We've been getting along so well lately,but then again we never got in any fights,so thats normal I suppose.
Oh well I have nothing further to add so I'm out. Buh bye one and all.....
Corey :twisted:
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| hello everybody!!! |
| 01.05.04 (11:04 pm) [edit] |
Well I finally decided to start a blog. Everybody else has one so I guess I wanted to follow in this trend lol. NE ways like two people asked me what Sigma is. Sigma is a chatacter I made up,and a costume I made for the House of Shock. I made it from a cows pelvic bone,and it looks pretty wicked. So yeah thats Sigma. Maybe I'll post a pic or something. Well I guess I'm out for now lata!!!
Corey
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Draw this darkness out like poison. Stab,retrieve,again decline. Help me drive the dagger deeper trace with me explicit line. Take this blade,a test of faith and strike me deep and true. I put all my trust in you...
This is my monkey! I shall name him Frank and he shall be mine!
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My love were meant to be like a raging fire that's burning free. My vision is blurry so I close my eyes and I see you here with me...
What else can I say? I love her.
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